Always... I swear

I know it's really tough for you right now... tough that you have to be put through the pain all over again... feel the regrets all over again and feel the old wounds all over again...

You have always been there for me each and everytime I needed a shoulder to cry on... We've seen each other cry our hearts out... Trust me, I feel your pain as much as you do... How I wish I could just make your pain go away...

You've been putting on a brave front since the day it ended... Whenever I see you, you just shrug your shoulder and talk about it as though you've put it all behind you... It must have been really difficult... pretending to be nonchalant. I've been through it too... I know it hurts like hell and I'm sure there are many nights where you cry yourself to sleep too...

It's stupid why we are so proud... pretending that it doesn't matter when it really does matter a big deal... It's funny...

I know you're feeling very jaded by it all... To be honest, I'm also pretty unsure of this whole love-relationship thing too sometimes. This part of me tells myself to be hopeful & that one day, I'll find true love... yet this other part of me is so negative about everything.

There are nights where I'm so happy and thrilled, pondering over the possibility that he's the one... On the other hand, there are some nights where I feel all insecure again and start worrying that it'll all end one day & I've have to go through the pain all over again...

I am a skeptic as much as you are... Though we are jaded, we've also seen true love in the life of our friends... like how Mr K can be so devoted to Ms B even though he knows she needs to be alone and is not ready for a relationship for the time being...

Maybe bad things happen to us more because God knows we're stronger & will be able to survive it all only to emerge stronger... Maybe if other people were in our shoes, they would have crumbled...

I just want to tell you that it doesn't matter that you're feeling like shit now... because even the worst storm will stop one day... and then it'll be all bright & sunny again...

Plus you have me here with you... always here to give you support when you need it, lend you a shoulder should you want to cry, do voodoo with you when you want to curse that bastard, swear at him with you if it makes you feels better, pig out with you when you want to binge, get drunk with you if it makes you forget even if it's only for that brief moment...

Be strong okie... I love you & you're such a dear friend that I can't imagine what I would have done if you hadn't been there for me through all the tough times... I need you too... so you cannot collapse okay? If not, what'll become of me...

And someday, you'll meet your prince... have faith okie... Things will just work out fine... *hugz*

Edited to add:

Gal... You really look very distracted when I met you today... All the talk about the lump in your throat, that heavy heart of yours...makes me so very upset... & I can't help but feel upset together with you...

It's shitty that you still got to go work and act all cheery and alright when in reality, you want to fuck the whole world...

But really, I think you've already done all that you could have done & probably also done more than what was required of you... But eventually it still didn't work out... "Why?!", you ask yourself... It's not your fault... It's probably just him, just his character... that he doesn't want to commit and cannot commit... Not that you aren't good enough or that you've done anything wrong... Really...

In retrospect, it's good that it ended... because it would have been alot more painful had you try to prolong it... Yes, you loved him... yes, it could all have been yours... But then again, what's the point of holding on to something which probably never ever did belong to you in the 1st place? There's really no point in doing so.

You have your whole life ahead... please do not let him spoil it for you... and please do not lose faith and become a man-hater just because of a few bad ones... I know how it's like to have put in so much yet get nothing back in return... I took a few years to totally get over him too... It's tough, it's gonna take awhile but one day, you'll get over him...

At times, you'll still think of him... at times, you'll yearn for his touch again... at times, you'll wish that you could go back in time to put things right... It's alright... it's totally fine to think that way... Afterall, how could you just simply forget everything that you two shared for the past yrs...

I'm sorry I can't do much to make things easier for you... You know I'll always be available to lend a listening ear or a shoulder to cry on... but at the end of the day, you're the only one who can help youself... It's been 9mths... & the fact that you're still so affected by this whole thing shows alot... Please promise me you wouldn't bottle it all inside you and then burst... I can listen and I promise I wouldn't talk... I'll just listen quietly and be there for you...

Don't keep everything to yourself alright?

Take care... & remember I care.