Everything has to end... someday
Isn't it very sad that years of happiness with a person has to end somehow eventually? Be it kinship, love or friendship... The only difference to it all is probably the way it ends... It could end by choice or by chance.
In the above 3 categories, I would think that love is the most easily formed and at the same time, easily lost too. For most of us, family and friends are for life but this is not the case for love.
I've been told that I've changed alot over the past 4 years... From the first days we started going out to now, I've become a much better person... and I've matured much. I wonder if that's true... Somehow, some parts of me are still stuck in time... & I certainly don't think that I've changed much over the past years... Maybe yes, along the way, I grew alittle more cautious, weary, cold-hearted, afraid... but overall, I'm still very much the same girl I was years back. Just that now, I'm probably more tactful and less hot-tempered.
He said that he missed me alot & every beep he hears on his handphone, he wished it was me telling him that I miss him & I want him back... He said that his mother scolded him for not treasuring me... & he said that being the sceptical person his mother was, he was surprised that she like me so much...
He wants to try to work things out again...
What could I say? I could only manage a weak and soft, "Sorry"... I suppose it was never meant to be & if 3 years wasn't enough to make me sure of him, then I guess no amount of time would suffice. If I do marry him, it'll be out of gradtitude... thankful of his kindness and love towards me. But is that love?
I know marriage eventually subsides into this whole boring, messy grave to the great thing we call love initially... But at least, I want to marry someone who makes my heart beats faster... At least there would be something to thrive on...
Like all things have to come to an end one day, our relationship did too... I can't say I'm very upset... I'm just more guilty as I know I was almost his everything...
It's precisely of the way I felt towards him that makes me really insecure... very afraid that someone I'm really in love with would feel the same of me too. I know it's never a level playing ground... but I really wish it would be... Where the amount of hard work and effort you put in would result in an equal gain. The naive me would like to believe in that...but the realistic me knows that that's never possible...
In the above 3 categories, I would think that love is the most easily formed and at the same time, easily lost too. For most of us, family and friends are for life but this is not the case for love.
I've been told that I've changed alot over the past 4 years... From the first days we started going out to now, I've become a much better person... and I've matured much. I wonder if that's true... Somehow, some parts of me are still stuck in time... & I certainly don't think that I've changed much over the past years... Maybe yes, along the way, I grew alittle more cautious, weary, cold-hearted, afraid... but overall, I'm still very much the same girl I was years back. Just that now, I'm probably more tactful and less hot-tempered.
He said that he missed me alot & every beep he hears on his handphone, he wished it was me telling him that I miss him & I want him back... He said that his mother scolded him for not treasuring me... & he said that being the sceptical person his mother was, he was surprised that she like me so much...
He wants to try to work things out again...
What could I say? I could only manage a weak and soft, "Sorry"... I suppose it was never meant to be & if 3 years wasn't enough to make me sure of him, then I guess no amount of time would suffice. If I do marry him, it'll be out of gradtitude... thankful of his kindness and love towards me. But is that love?
I know marriage eventually subsides into this whole boring, messy grave to the great thing we call love initially... But at least, I want to marry someone who makes my heart beats faster... At least there would be something to thrive on...
Like all things have to come to an end one day, our relationship did too... I can't say I'm very upset... I'm just more guilty as I know I was almost his everything...
It's precisely of the way I felt towards him that makes me really insecure... very afraid that someone I'm really in love with would feel the same of me too. I know it's never a level playing ground... but I really wish it would be... Where the amount of hard work and effort you put in would result in an equal gain. The naive me would like to believe in that...but the realistic me knows that that's never possible...
posted by paradox-is-me at 2:10 AM
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