24/7, Darling? Thanks but no thanks...

Last night, Class 95 had a really interesting conversation with listeners going on. The topic of the night was:

Do women really need to be with their other halves 24/7?

Lots of callers called in & one men gave a really vehement speech about how he used to have this ex-gf who demanded all of his attention. She didn't even allow him to go to his company functions and always issued ultimatums like "It's either I tag along or you don't go at all!" Needless to say, after-work drinks with colleagues were a no-no either. It's no wonder she's his EX now... If I were him, I would have dumped her too.

Well, I was smiling wistfully to myself while listening to all the responses. You see, I used to have this ex-bf, my very first, who was very possessive of me towards the end of the relationship. Probably because we were both moving on to different Institutions after our O's and he wasn't comfortable with it, which explains his insecurities. He demanded lots of attention and I had to "report" my whereabouts and activities to him all the time.

The last straw was when he actually doubted me and made a trip to my dance studio to check on me. To check that I was really having dance lessons rather than out there somewhere gallivanting with other men... That was IT, I tell you. I really hit the roof when I saw his face peering into the window of the dance studio.

In the end, the ironic thing was, he had someone else after we both went into separate polys. I graciously wished him all the best with his new other half when we brokeup. Of course, till this day, we remained friends & each time he sees me, he tells me the same old thing, "I was really stupid in the past..."

Oh well, what done cannot be undone anyway.

So, what's my point? What exactly am I driving at? Well, my point is, this thing about needing your partner to be with you 24/7, is definitely not a gender issue. Really, not only females are that needy. Men too, can be very needy. I've experienced one myself and I've also seen good friends with very possessive bfs who need them to be by their side 24/7.

Rather, I feel that it's an insecurity issue. I mean come to think of it, why would you want to be with your partner 24/7? Come'on... it's 2006 now, we all have our own social circle, our own activities, our own things to see to, our family etc etc. How can 2 persons be together all the time? Not only is it virtually impossible, it's a total torture to me too.

Yes, of course, how can being with the one you love a torture... Yeah, sure, I love spending time with my bf... but I seriously can't imagine us facing each other 24/7... I mean there'll be casualty if that happens. He would drive me up the wall with his 'I make alot of sense statements' while I rebutt without success... and being quite a sore loser, I can imagine myself turing violent when I can't win him verbally... I'll go ballistic and start whacking him with anything I can get my hands on... Haha! Come to think of it, that's quite funny isn't it?

Okay okay, back to the topic... What I'm trying to say is this: It's the insecure people who tend to be really possessive and needy. They could either be unsure of themselves, their partners or the whole relationship. It's not an exclusive female behaviour.

Although I would love to be able to spend just that wee bit more time with my bf, I can swear to God that I wouldn't look forward to seeing him 24/7. Why would I want to do that when I've got a fantastically cute nephew at home, a bunch of crazy and lovely girlfriends, a passion for Salsa, the informative SCV and interesting reads to keep me occupied? Not that my bf isn't cute, crazy, lovely, passionate, informative or interesting... Let's just say that sometimes, I'd rather take on a variety of entertainment sources yeah ;D