"Absence diminishes small loves & increases great ones; As the wind blows out the candle and blows up the bonfire"

I miss him so much... And it's just merely a day of not seeing & talking to him... How am I going to survive the next 2 years? I really hope our love is like the bonfire...

Why have I never felt this way when he was around? Again, I've learnt what it means to "take something/someone for granted". Not that I've been taking him for granted; rather I've been taking his presence for granted.

Like everynight, I log on to MSN & everytime the little notification on the right pops up, my heart gives a little leap, hoping it would be him. When it's not him, I go all disappointed... When it's finally really him, I grin to myself like an idiot.

It's so ironic that I thought it wouldn't be a big deal before he left when I thought I was all mentally prepared. Now that he has really left, the sense of longing in me has been growing so steadily that it's almost hitting the limit.

I've never been in such a situation & thus can never fully understand what people meant by "Love knows not its own depth till the hours of separation"... Now, I've finally experienced it first-hand.

Right, we aren't exactly separated... just that we'll be living apart for the next 2 years... that's all. There's an end in sight, you may say.... It's just that at times, when night falls, it gets pretty bad. When there's quietness all around me and everyone is deep in slumberland... I start thinking of him... of us... of the things we have done...places we have been to... his warmth... his kisses... his touch... It's all so familiar but yet so unattainable now.

I really do not know if this is a good thing or a bad thing. But probably, I wouldn't have realised the depth of my love for him had he not left. I would live everyday without knowing how much his presence means to me, how I can't live without him. But it's a double-edged sword, I guess. This terrible longing is eating me up. I really can't wait for 6th May to come. In fact, I hope it comes at light speed.

When I see him, I'm so going to hug him till he turns blue... as my way of telling him I've missed him so...