I've not felt so upset for the longest time.... Not even when my ex called to call the relationship off.
It's ironic... an irony how what was supposed to be my day, turned out to be my worst nightmare ever. Imagine the feeling of being lifted high high above and then getting let go of. The free falling process is something which I would remember for the rest of my life. The feelings of happiness, excitement, anticipation all dissolved almost instantaneously into disappointment, fear, tears and feelings beyond anyone's comprehension.
I've worked hard to get where I'm today. The hard work, late nights I put in, I believe, would not fall below that of anyone in the batch.
Sure, it's a great honour to win the Best Trainee award... but is it really that important? So important that the fact that I won it, changes the fundamentals of the whole relationship I thought I shared with alot of them. I do not need the recognition, neither do I need the heartfelt congratulations, but at least do not say that "She doesn't deserve it."
May I ask then: Who does? And on what basis? Who is then the best judge of it? If the judges aren't exercising the best of their judgement, then should there be a better and more stringent selection process which ensures that the Best is the one who is well-acknowledged by the masses?
I wonder if it wasn't me, would the outcome have been any different? Or maybe, there isn't any best winner afterall... I don't know... One thing I'm certain is this: I certainly gave my best and in my honest opinion, I deserve it... Maybe I haven't got any alliance with the gangs in the batch. But at least I know I've given all Icould within my capacity... I won, that's the fact... Take it or leave it, your choice.
It's ironic... an irony how what was supposed to be my day, turned out to be my worst nightmare ever. Imagine the feeling of being lifted high high above and then getting let go of. The free falling process is something which I would remember for the rest of my life. The feelings of happiness, excitement, anticipation all dissolved almost instantaneously into disappointment, fear, tears and feelings beyond anyone's comprehension.
I've worked hard to get where I'm today. The hard work, late nights I put in, I believe, would not fall below that of anyone in the batch.
Sure, it's a great honour to win the Best Trainee award... but is it really that important? So important that the fact that I won it, changes the fundamentals of the whole relationship I thought I shared with alot of them. I do not need the recognition, neither do I need the heartfelt congratulations, but at least do not say that "She doesn't deserve it."
May I ask then: Who does? And on what basis? Who is then the best judge of it? If the judges aren't exercising the best of their judgement, then should there be a better and more stringent selection process which ensures that the Best is the one who is well-acknowledged by the masses?
I wonder if it wasn't me, would the outcome have been any different? Or maybe, there isn't any best winner afterall... I don't know... One thing I'm certain is this: I certainly gave my best and in my honest opinion, I deserve it... Maybe I haven't got any alliance with the gangs in the batch. But at least I know I've given all Icould within my capacity... I won, that's the fact... Take it or leave it, your choice.
posted by paradox-is-me at 9:26 PM
2 Comments:
Gal,
As long as u, urself thinks tt u deserve it. FULL STOP. It's tt simple. The same goes for my promotion. I THINK TT U DESERVED IT! Always.
hey nu ren,
i'm not sure if u remembered my pre-monition. Something I told u at the beginning of ur course that I will tell u when u get it... this is it... i din want u to feel the pressure but yet u feel that this will make it easy for me to lie about it when it happens.
Bottomline is that i always have faith in, i know wat u r made of and the effort u put in. I have NO DOUBT that u deserve it! I dunno who said those hurtful words... but pay no heed to them coz they just wanna get u down. Don't let their jealousy succeed!
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