Need to get this off my chest... Been bottling it inside me for a pretty long time. Last straw was when mummy told me that granny said the same thing, which, many others before her did...
Hey, don't get me wrong. Kind words with good intentions are always appreciated but when it is based on groundless assumptions & generalistions and would probably do nothing but instill more fear in the advisee, then maybe it's best not to dispense that piece of advice in the first place.
When friends, acquaintances, schoolmates & family first heard about news of my boyfriend's job posting overseas, the very first reaction was pretty positive... until they hear of the country he's posted to. Faces changed and almost instantaneously, they all would say something along the line of, "Oh dear, don't think you guys will work out. Shanghai women are very into Singapore men. They'll do anything to marry over!"
Tell me, when that kinda statement is made in your face, what would you do? Well, all I did was go, "Hmm... not all men will like China women... At least I think my bf wouldn't...."
Did I really believe in what I said? Hell, yeah.... for the first few times I think I really did believed what I said... Came the same advice a few more times & I started being less sure. To be honest, it got to a point where I was really quite worried... & I was kind of affected with all the things I hear about "those women".
It certainly takes alot for someone to remain firm in his/her convictions despite the fact that EVERYONE else around them are telling them otherwise.
It has been really trying... when hearing such comments... Though I appear to be so sure that it WILL NEVER happen, just probe alittle more, I'l probably start going ballistic.
Sure, it's easy to tell others, "Aiya, I don't think that will happen lah... ". But deep down, it's hard to get over what people said.
I still do trust my boyfriend but I certainly do not trust China women. Not like I've not seen them working their "charm" on men... just that, I don't think he's the sort who will fall for or even consider girls like them... Thus, those words or rather "well-meaning advice" is doing me more harm than good.
It has been conjuring all sorts of funny scenarios by itself in my mind...& sometimes, it gets to me.
As much as I do wish this wouldn't happen to me & as much as I can try to hope and pray that it wouldn't, no one can tell for sure, isn't it? Therefore, I've told myself to just take it as it comes... I mean, if it really has to happen, then certainly letting it happen now, is way better than suffering such a blow only after like, what, 3 years into the relationship?
This is life... nothing's really within our control... and when things happen, we don't have much of a choice except to take things in our stride, pick ourselves up & move on...
Just got to constantly remind myself this... "Whatever will be, will be..." The rest? Let's just hope they will just fall into place naturally...
