Woof Woof!!!

Dear Friends & loved ones,

I hereby wish all of you a happy chinese new year! May the year ahead be a better one and the gamblers win lotsa money... =)

Is compromising too much a good thing?

It's really getting on my nerves... All the uncertainties, the "I'm not sure", "I can't confirm" etc etc.

Yeah sure, I understand we all have our own matters to attend to & things do crop up ever so often. But what if I feel like I'm always second-in-line?

You know, I don't need you to revolve ur life around mine & trust me, mine doesn't revolve around yours either. However, it does matter to me if I'm not respected. If I've already made certain arrangements with you, then I think it really isn't that unreasonable of me to expect you to keep to your side of the promise. If you have something on, then maybe you could arrange it to suit your schedule instead of pushing our plans back? Am I wrong to say that? Or maybe there isn't any 'us' here? I don't know...

To be honest, I was pretty miffed. If I were you, I would probably attend whatever it is that cropped up last minute and then leave early or something. But then again, I'm not you & you're not me either... Surely I can't expect you to do the same too...

Just as I was getting over it... you had to make things worse.

You knew all along I'm certainly no big fan of soccer... but I wouldn't mind watching it with you & your friends once in awhile. I compromise. Why? 'Cause we already don't spend much time together... So I don't want to make whatever little time we have together unpleasant. I'm not trying to make it seem like I'm damn noble or anything like that. My point is, though sometimes I have to do stuff (which probably isn't on the top of my list of 'to-dos' if I were given a choice), I certainly have no qualms about doing it with you 'cause I understand that I can't always have my way & I want you to be happy too.

Now, that's not so true on your side... Pardon me if I've misunderstood you or anything. But this is how you make me feel. Maybe you don't like eating whatever it's we're going to eat... but I don't see how it'll kill you to join us and maybe have things my way sometimes. You've never really met the most important people in my life... would it kill you to just sit through the dinner with us? I mean it's not even gonna take that long...

I felt really disappointed & maybe fustrated too. Like I keep getting "rejected" so to speak. Maybe you could try seeing things from my perspective sometimes & show that little bit of empathy? It would certainly be much appreciated.

I don't know... it's that time of the month again... and this is the period where I feel emotional and get fustrated easily... and all the unpleasant stuff seems to magnify by a million times... But I don't want to keep telling myself that I'm feeling the way I'm 'cause I'm pms-ing... 'cause I know that's not all there's to it. I suppose in a way, there's really an issue here... or to put it more accurately, I have an issue here.

I think I can safely say I'm royally pissed off & sorry that I'm being really rude and irresponsible by not replying your smses and not answering your calls. I know how nasty I can get when I'm upset... & even though you do deserve to be shot (in my biased opinion), I wouldn't want to be nasty to you.

You really matter alot to me & I do care about 'us'... But I feel that there's a limit to everything & we should also draw a line where certain matters are concerned. For this, I've to draw a line.

I prolly need time to cool down & structure my train of thoughts properly... So you probably wouldn't be hearing much from me till I've done so. Maybe it's also a good idea for you to think about what I've said above and prepare your 'defence' if you think it's unjustified.

When we met, it felt like I've found someone whom I can see myself growing old with... It was really sweet & nice. But in reality, things are never easy. I don't know if we can cross the many more of such hurdles life has in store for us together... but I sincerely hope that we could do so.

Meanwhile, take care...

Weekend Away

Before the trip to Bintan happened, I was really worried that the weather over there would be as bad as Singapore's... Looks like my worries were all unnecessary... Cos I'm as red as a lobster now =D

Really enjoyed myself over there, dipping in the pool overlooking the beautiful sea, having drinks at the bar IN the swimming pool, stuffing my face with food, playing Virtual Tennis on Xbox which I so suck at & basically just being able to spend time away from the hectic Singapore with baby.

Still ever so happy being with him... and I miss him already...

Anyway, here are the 2 random pictures taken when we had dinner at this really nice Thai restaurant there... Enjoy!

Love me, Love me Not...

Have any of you ever been in a situation where you know a couple, are close to both of them & they always confide (individually) their relationship problems to you?

It sucks, really. I know what my the guy is doing behind her back and I also know exactly how insecure she feels with him. She's really nice, down-to-earth & said that if he still want to play the field, then he should just let her know so she can move on with her life without him. He says that he's just out for some harmless fun & eventually, he still goes back to her... So what she doesn't know wouldn't hurt her. Is that right?

He's a close friend too & I really am trying my best to be neutral here and not be a judgmental, self-righteous bitch. But it really gets to me sometimes 'cause being a girl, I am naturally more partial towards her. Yet sometimes the things my guy friend does for her really touches me...

I know there's nothing I can do... & I'm also not in the place to do anything or make any comments... The least I can do is just to talk to my guy friend and somehow try to drop hints along the way.

It's really fustrating... not just because it's happening to them... but also because such things are happening so often now! I see it all around me...

Sometimes, seeing people in situations as such makes me think alot. I get pretty disillusioned sometimes... So much for being there for each other through good times & bad.

Love in this day and age has evolved. Nowadays, nobody blinks an eye when they hear of a divorce, of a third-party, a home wrecker... What then, is the definition of love now?

If one wants to fool around, why not just remain single? I mean, what are the perks of having a partner if one is a player? None, if you ask me. If it's for the physical bit, then I don't see how they would have a problem getting it even if they don't have a partner! And don't even go into the whole crap about "I really do love her/him... just that I need to have fun with other people at times!"

What kind of love is that, may I ask? If you love someone, why would you willingly do something knowing that it'll hurt the partner like hell if they ever find out?! If you don't love the person enough, then why not just break up? Feel bad for breaking up? Worried that he/she will not be able to take the blow? Then, don't even cheat on them! I mean if you want to be considerate then might as well go all the way right?

When I was young, I always had all sorts of fantasy about marrying the love of my life, have a family with him and grow old together... Well, now as I grow older over the years, I realised that that's pretty much a FANTASY. In reality, such fairytales seldom happen... Not that I have not met men whom I think are marriage material... It's just that these men give me the feeling that the only reason why they want to get married is only because they want to settle down, not because they really love me... I mean yes they do like me... but I think if I were to drop dead the very next day, they would probably be able to pick themselves up very fast.

I'm not being stupid here but is true love really that unattainable? All I ask for is just someone who loves me to bits and someone whom I can't live without... That's not unreasonable right? I think that's something everyone has a right to. All these stuff are really making me totally negative and I hold back alot...

Even in a relationship, I sometimes feel that I'm not giving my 100%. I do love, I commit but I always feel that I can do better... But I'm afraid of giving my all... 'cause I'm afraid it'll be unrequited. I pride myself on being very strong and am always saying that I'll be able to move on if such a fate befalls on me. But in reality, I'll probably take forever to get over that person... Well, it's just a matter of being able to hide my feelings better than the rest... Like how long it took me to get over that man whom I thought was my one true love... Like how it still hurts sometimes when I think back...

Can I have you forever...?

Do not marry someone you can live with, instead marry someone you can't live without...

Salsa - The dip or the dance?

Since term started, I've been a very good girl.. Seldom club and drink.

Been up to something fun though... Took up salsa, the dance, with a girlfriend... Went for the first lesson last Friday & it was loads of fun!!! Am definitely loving it & if possible, I would love to go on to the intermediate course after this beginner one.

Yipee!!! Something to look forward to again besides going to school and doing tutorials!!! =D

Isit true?

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free. In love, you feel the most alive when your partner is patient and never willing to give up on you. You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change. You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic. Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with. Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred. In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

Purrrrrfect!

Damn the weather... It has been raining so much that I feel moss growing on me already...

But I secretly love it though... although I'm like complaining alot...

First, I sleep very well under such weather condition... & even if I ain't sleeping, I'm very contented just snuggling under the blanket and day-dreaming my life away.

Second, I get to wear all my jackets which are usually very much neglected in one corner of the cupboard.

Third, I have the right to stay home and reject all invitations to go out by citing the bad weather as an excuse and people usually have no arguments for that.

Fourth, I love the cool air... though it would be perfect without the rain.

=)

It's been raining alot...

'cause my love gave the sun to me... =)

Ordinary People

Ordinary People - John Legends

Girl I'm in love with you
This ain't the honeymoon
Past the infatuation phase
Right in the thick of love
At times we get sick of love
It seems like we argue everyday

I know I misbehaved
And you've made your mistakes
And we both got room to grow
And though love sometimes hurts
I still put you first
And we'll make this thing work
But I think we should take it slow

We're just ordinary people
We don't know which way to go
Cause we're ordinary people
Maybe we should take it slow
This time we'll take it slow
This time we'll take it slow

This ain't a movie no
No fairytale conclusion ya'll
It gets more confusing everyday
Sometimes it's heaven sent
We head back to hell again
We kiss and we make up on the way

I hang up you call
We rise and we fall
And we feel just like walking away
But as our love advances
We take second chances
Though it's not a fantasy
I still want you to stay

We're just ordinary people
We don't know which way to go
Cause we're ordinary people
Maybe we should take it slow
This time we'll take it slow
This time we'll take it slow
Take it slow

Maybe we'll live and learn
Maybe we'll crash and burn
Maybe you'll stay, maybe you'll leave, Maybe you'll return
Maybe you'll never find
Maybe we won't survive
But maybe we'll grow
You never know baby you and I

Isn't this song beautiful? How apt is describes this thing called love... filled with all the uncertainties and full of "Maybes"... Though the future is unknown, we still seek and yearn for love... We fall, we make mistakes, we learn and sometimes we survive... but mostly we just walk away... It's amazing isn't it? How we all willingly step into it knowing all the pain it might bring... I suppose it's cause the beautiful memories are way much more important and precious...
This is love for you... Where we all make mistakes, we get hurt, we cry, we fall... but we all learn, we forgive and we move on and try to make things better...
Cause we're ordinary people... =)

Oh My God

Sometimes I think too much... at other times, I simply do not think enough... What the fuck is wrong with me... sighz

Added On:

This is really getting freaky... and I think this world is really full of nutcase... Yucks... scary... lucky none of my friends are like that... If not... I quote qing's words, "I'll drop her before she can even say bye".... Yes, that's what I'll do...

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

First post on the first day of the New Year... I foresee that there'll be lots of changes happening in my life this new year.

This year:

* I'll say goodbye to life as a student once again after 3 long years this June...

* Prolly be one of the frictionally unemployed people out there (for hopefully as short a time as
possible)...

* Embark on building my career...

* Work hard at making my relationship a better one & learn to give and love more...

* Aim to be more settled and less playful...

Time really flies... it feels like it was only yesterday that I just left my job and went back to being a full-time student again. Where I stuggled with tutorials and hateful projectmates & worked really hard for all those distinctions.

The past 2.5 years years certainly hadn't been easy for me. Especially after being very used to slacking and to spending my OWN money... One of the bane of being a student again means I'll have to depend on mummy again for a living & it certainly isn't something to be very proud of... & the worse thing is, I think I'm a pretty big spender. Why? Well, 'cause I have relatively expensive taste... Like eating good food, buying nice clothes, pretty shoes and bags & indulging in a very expensive hobby - diving... Thank goodness I gave up on wakeboarding... Otherwise the damage level would be a notch higher!

I'm so looking forward to join the working world again & though there's this feeling of apprehension, I'm still very much excited about it. Hopefully, God will be kind to this little bitchy girl here and bless her with lots of good luck. Also, I wish that all my friends and family be blessed with good health, those who are attached to have an even greater relationship, those who are single to find their perfect soulmate, those working to climb higher up the corporate ladder, those who are married to have a perfect marriage!

May happiness come everyone's way!!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR ONCE AGAIN!!!