A Simple Wish

I just wanna live happily ever after... Could i?

One Reason Why I love Japan

A picture tells a thousand words.... Guess no explaination is needed. Plus, this is only the loot from the Beauty Store... I didn't take any picture of my Supermarket conquest.... If I did, it's not difficult for all of you to understand why Japan station is a charity flight most of the time. The tidbits, fruits, sweets, beauty products etc are soooo to die-for. The best part is, the price is also slashed by half of those products which are available in our little sunny island.

Sighz... Life's good on such days for me... *Contented*

Hehe

Despite having less than 6 hours of sleep and am soon flying off to Tokyo via Bangkok (freaking shitty pattern), I woke up really early today when Ikea man came.

Was too excited and eager to put all the pieces of materials lying in the box together. Teehee... It was pretty fun to be honest. Not as much of a chore as I expected it to be. And in less than an hour, I fixed a perfectly pretty and fine looking piece of furniture!

Hey, goes to show my construction background and one month stint as a bangla in Cambodia didn't go to waste. The cabinet is a perfect piece of art to me can... And even the nails are so beautifully nailed in... Muahahaha.

But then again, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out how to fix it lah... Just a matter of whether you can read and decipher pictures and follow instructions or not... However, I do believe that there's a small minority out there who can't loh... So, I'm quite smart righttttt?

Hehe Dear ah... you got to prove your worth in other ways already... I can kill the pests, cook up a storm in the kitchen, make the house spanking clean, fix furniture, sew, have kids, whine to get my way with people... So you better be more useful okieeee if not, you'll be banished hahahahaa... But then, no lah, won't bear to do that... Still gotta wait for you to come drill the nails into the wall so that I can fix my new mirror to the wall... Somehow have this phobia of drills and all that stuff... Like it'll turn haywire anytime and drill a hole in me instead.

So, you know what to do on your offday already right. Nothing to do at home? Don't be a lazy boy... come to my place, and start drilling! Hopefully, I will see the mirror transfixed on the wall when I get back from my flight yeah...

My new bookcase (which I fixed all by myself!) *beams*

Blessed

Can one get any luckier... Life's been really good this recent months... I really want it to stay this way forever.

The relationship is getting better and better and the happiness quotient has hit an all time high. I really can't recall the last time I felt so loved. For the first time, I feel that I'm truly accepted for all that I am, stretch marks and all.

Marriage might not be as bad as I think it is afterall. It's just a matter of getting into the right "partnership". Well, we've got to admit that we do make bad judgements sometimes, but at the end of the day, we learn from our mistakes and one can only get smarter, isn't it (at least it applies to me!)

Despite all the negativities I've seen for the past few months, I'm still full of hope. I believe so long both parties set out to work on it with full committment, they will find what many call "happily ever after". But of course, most times, it ain't really that picture perfect. But without the bad, we wouldn't be able to appreciate the good yeah?

Career wise, nothing to speak of. Definitely not going to be in it for long, so I'll just enjoy whatever time I've left in this industry.

Alright, time to hit to sack... gotta work later!!! Be back real soon...

Amsterdam

In life, all of us are often forced to make the most daunting decisions ever. Decisions which could determine how we would lead our lives later on.

Decisions made are very much dependent on various factors like our upbringing, social circle, personal values etc etc.

However, there are still many amongst us, who do things as they wish, often neglecting the feelings of those around them. They often forget that those around them, have feelings too.

It's a good thing to know how to love youself. However, sometimes we could be over-doing it, to the extend that we no longer take others into consideration, pursuing only what we believe would make us happy. What we believe, however, often is not what usually happens. Envisioning is one thing, the chance of it actually happening, is another.

It would be great if we all could do as we wish, regardless of what expectations, others and the society has of us. Sadly, we can't. At least most of us can't. We can't, not because we really can't but because we are more humane. Because we somehow care. Because deep down in us, there's still this goodness which exists. That we know we should never ever bite the hand that feeds us. Nor should we hurt the ones who truly care about us by casting our attention wrongly on those who don't give a damn about us in the first place.

It's never easy to find people who truly truly care about us from deep down within. Who would really bear the pain of lossing us one day when we are finally gone. Thus, shouldn't we all be grateful that there's at least a handful of these people who exists; the handful whom complete our lives; whom wants nothing but the best for us; whom knows when to be encouraging and when to be harsh?

The handful of those probably includes people like our family, our other halves, our closest friends. These people truly care and these people are able to see what is best for us when we are sometimes so blinded. However, words which mean well and said with good intentions, more often then not, fall on deaf ears.

Just because others say things which isn't something you want to hear, means they are out to harm you or that they do not want to see you attain happiness. It's the truest friends and people who truly care, who have the guts to tell you exactly what you should hear rather than what you want to hear.

What should be said has already been said. Maybe it's time to do what has to be done. Whatever the decision is, I wish you all the best from the bottom of my heart. However, you probably also know that once the ultimatum is issued, the consequences will be dire too. I really do not wish to judge but then again, my conscience already has this pre-determined notion of what's right and what's wrong. You make one decision, you lose all but hopefully, gain you the "love of your life". You make another decision, you probably gain all but lose the "it could have been him"...

Whatever decision made, I just want to know that I truly wish you all the best. Just that I probably wouldn't be around anymore if the path which I feel you shouldn't take, is taken. Not because I don't care. But because I cannot bring myself to truly care for someone who can so cold-bloodedly destroy everything and shatter the very foundation of what I thought would be the start to a great lifelong companionship. If it really is what you thought it is, that you went into it, not knowing what was in store for you. Then I say good for you that you have finally woken up and know what you want. But also, in the process, hurt many others and destroyed the good faith which most have placed on you.

It's so very much like playing "Show Hand". Either you win all, or you lose all. This gamble is yours to take. I've said my piece and I wouldn't and shouldn't say anymore from now on. You win, good for you. If you lose it all, then I'm sorry. Some things in life are just irreversible and things will never be the same again.

No matter what it is, I just want to thank you for the many many years of good times, happy laughter, true heartaches and shoulder you offered to me when I needed one. I'm just sorry that this time round, it's beyond me to offer you mine.

Take care...

*It's sad... so sad... As in my dreams, I often see us growing old together, having the toothless grin... and feeling comforted knowing that the other 2 will be around for each other when one passes on first... Looks like now, it's really nothing but a dream...*

The Math of it...

Who would have thought that God has something much better in mind for them when they lost what they thought meant so much to them?

Have neglected this little part of my life for a very long time now. With all the jet-setting around the world, time seems to be something which is a rare commodity for me now. What used to be in abundance, is now something which I no longer have control over.

As much as I enjoy the freedom which comes with the job, I also detest the inflexibility which comes with it. I now have to plan my schedule around my roster which is a huge irony to the freedom which this job brings. The financial aspect of it as well as the time I have to myself mostly, in nice hotel rooms of exotic locations around the world.

I cannot describe the sense of joy I often feel when exploring new cities alone, armed with just a map in my hand, my trusty big camera to capture those quirky moments which amuses or touches me and the nice big sunnies to keep the glare of the sun away. As much as I enjoy interacting with people, I sometimes dislike the diplomacy which I have to employ. As such, I would rather wander around on my own, than stick to a group and go with the herd. Instead of feelings of self-pity like alot of people, I take it in my strike, and embrace this new found "ME" time I have which comes with this job. The nice feeling of being able to eat ur meal, sip your coffee while being totally self-absorbed or captivated by the newest novel in hand is very much a luxury to me.

When back in Spore, I very much appreciate and treasure the time I have been given to spend with my family, my close friends and my love. While I spend "ME" time overseas, I make it a point to be a people's person when back. The time spent alone, gives me the ability to much better appreciate the time which I am able to spend with all my loved ones. As much as being alone gives me joy, spending time with those who means alot to me fills me with a different kind of joy and warmth as well.

Of all, I especially look forward to those few precious days which I'm given with my love every month. These days are almost sacred to me. These are the days where we re-connect again after having "lost touch" with one another for sometimes as long as 1.5 weeks. The simple pleasures of just being in each other's company, of cooking a meal together, of just lying in bed in his arms... makes me a very happy and contented woman. The many heart-to-heart talk which takes place in the dead of the night, in each other's arms, has done so much for us.

I may not be able to spend a good deal of time together with most, but at least I promise to try to make the most of those times I have with everyone. Afterall, quality really does matter so much more than quantity.

The Undying Support

So much has happened that I almost couldn't believe it myself.

Both good and bad...

It's really funny how life works out eventually. When I was in such despair and I almost felt like everything's a goner, the situation just turned around and turned out to be in my favour.

I really do not see a need to defend myself. The truth speaks for itself. The day would come when people would realise the truth. The shocking truth, yes? Maybe...

Neither do I want to pursue the case. I seriously do not see a point in being so caught up with this matter. I will not allow it to consume me. I really have more important things in life to focus on. Like my new career & my new-found love. I would want to concentrate on doing my job well and learning as much as I can within the shortest time possible. I will not allow people to look down on me. Also, I would love to spend more time with my significant other during our days off and to nurture the relationship. Now that time spent together has reduced significantly, it makes the days we spend together seem all the more precious. And I cherish every moment there is to it.

When people try ways and means to put one down, maybe they should stop to think. Then they would probably realise how petty it makes them seem and how it reflects on them as a person. It's ok for me. Maybe I should even thank them for gaining more sympathy votes for me. Afterall, they've made me seem very victimised. Didn't they realise that throughout history, people would always side with the victim, the weak? Grow up kids. The world's not in your hands; not now, never ever will it be. Do not try to manipulate when you're still so inexperienced. The consequences you'll have to bear for your actions might not be something you can deal with.

At the end of it all, they've only made me realise even more who are the ones whom are true and sincere. Without them, I would probably never have realised the pure goodness of some, many of whom are people whom I have a huge inclination to take for granted. This episode has made me see things clearer and to serve as a wakeup call for me. To remind me that I should appreciate those who have been here by my side & who always will be; especially my boyfriend.

He knows every single detail about what happened. He shared his views with me, his sincere and unbiased view. His constant support, encouragement and time spent with me to make me feel better has really made me very touched. Thanks alot for the "undying" love. I think I wouldn't have been able to pick myself up so well if not for you. I love you.

"Do not try to put me down... for I may become even stronger and a bigger threat to you should you fail."